Kids Say Conflict With Siblings Ranks #1
Wilmington, DE (PRWEB) July 10, 2007 -- Kids are bound to argue and disagree. Even best friends and close siblings don't always think alike or want the same thing. But when disagreements lead to arguments, unkind words, hitting, and fighting, it can be a big deal.
A recent KidsHealth KidsHealth (http://www.kidshealth.org) KidsPoll® asked 1,245 children ages 9-13 about the conflicts they have. The poll found that kids get into arguments regularly, with 28% reporting that they argue with kids their own age every day and 25% saying they do so every week. When asked with whom they argue most, more than half of kids (54%) said they argue most with their brothers and sisters, 18% said parents, 12% said with other kids, and 10% said they argue most with friends.
Asked what they normally do when they're in an argument, 33% said they talk or work it out. However, for many kids disagreements lead to physical or verbal aggression. Over a quarter of kids (26%) reported that they hit or get in a physical fight, and 18% get angry and yell or use mean words.
"No one is born with conflict-resolution skills, like how to compromise, respect others' needs and points of view, or how to forgive, apologize, or speak up we develop those over time," explains D'Arcy Lyness, PhD, child and adolescent psychologist and medical editor for KidsHealth.org KidsHealth.org (http://www.kidshealth.org). "With some coaching from parents, kids can learn these skills and rely on them their entire lives."
KidsHealth.org, the most-visited website devoted to children's health, offers tips for parents to help them teach kids to work out their disagreements:
1. Set limits on behavior. Let kids know that it's not OK to hit, push, or shove when they argue. Be clear that these behaviors are not acceptable.
2. Get back to basics. Helping kids learn how to get along with others boils down to a few basic principles that parents should remember when helping their kids: take turns, play fair, use your words, say it nicely, apologize, and share.
3. Encourage healthy communication. Help kids learn to use words to express their feelings, thoughts, and needs.
4. Provide guidance. But do not referee or get worked up yourself. Instead of deciding who is right, help kids work out a compromise. In some situations, parents can also ask their children what they think the fair solution should be, and help them work to find a compromise.
5. Role model. Parents should make a point not to use putdowns or get physical when they're angry, and to apologize if their temper flares and causes them to say something they might regret.
6. Praise. When kids do these things well, reward them with positive feedback.
Dr. Lyness reminds parents to consider their child's individual nature and personality and remember that kids naturally have different temperaments and will react in different ways. "But all kids can benefit from their parents' understanding, patience, guidance, and role modeling as they learn to work out disagreements." She explains, "Kids who can get along well with others will have more successful relationships with their siblings, friends, teachers, coaches, and other adults."
Other findings: When asked how they apologize, the majority of kids reported that face-to-face is still #1: 41% talk in person compared with 11% who write a note, 10% who send an email or text message, and 6% who call on the phone.
The KidsHealth KidsPoll on conflict surveyed 1,245 children ages 9 to 13 across the United States at 10 member sites of the National Association of Health Education Centers NAHEC (NAHEC). The survey was conducted by researchers from the Department of Health Education and Recreation, http://www.nahec.org). Survey questions were drafted with the expertise of the KidsPoll Scientific Advisory Board and Experts: Sherryll Kraizer, PhD, Director, Coalition for Children, and Jeremy P. Shapiro, PhD, Director/Creator, Peacemakers Program.
">Southern Illinois University Carbondale Southern Illinois University (http://www.nahec.org). Survey questions were drafted with the expertise of the KidsPoll Scientific Advisory Board and Experts: Sherryll Kraizer, PhD, Director, Coalition for Children, and Jeremy P. Shapiro, PhD, Director/Creator, Peacemakers Program.
For Parents:
http://www.kidshealth.org/research/kidspoll_conflict.html
For Kids:
http://www.kidshealth.org/kid/talk/kidssay/arguing.html
About the KidsHealth® KidsPoll
A project of the National Association of Health Education Centers (NAHEC), the Nemours Center for Children's Health Media (creators of KidsHealth.org), and Southern Illinois University Carbondale, Department of Health Education and Recreation (project researchers), the KidsHealth KidsPoll gives children a national platform to share their views on health-related issues that affect them. For more information about the KidsHealth KidsPoll, please visit nahec.org/KidsPoll/.
About the National Association of Health Education Centers (NAHEC)
NAHEC is a network of nonprofit health education centers (HECs) and of other organizations that support children's health education and provide products and services to HECs. NAHEC member centers reached over 3 million children, teachers, and parents in 2005. HECs use life-size exhibits, advanced audio-visual technology, and specialized, interactive instructional techniques not generally found in conventional classrooms. The curriculum is designed to support school-mandated areas of study. With programs like "Whodunit? - A Forensic Science Camp," Hummers outfitted with removable organs, and playgrounds modeled after anatomy parts, you'll see why former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. C. Everett Koop proclaimed that health education centers "put pizzazz in prevention." For more information about NAHEC, please visit nahec.org.
About KidsHealth®
KidsHealth creates engaging online, print, and video media about a wide range of health and family issues. KidsHealth has a physician-directed, professional editorial staff - and is the largest resource of online children's health, behavioral, and developmental information written for three distinct audiences: parents, kids, and teens. Each year, over 120 million families turn to KidsHealth.org for expert answers, making it the Web's most-accessed site on children's health. Recent accolades include the Webby Awards for Best Family/Parenting Website and Best Health Website and selection as one of the 30 Best Websites by U.S. News & World Report and one of the 50 Coolest Websites by TIME magazine. Recently, KidsHealth launched KidsHealth in the Classroom, a free website for educators featuring standards-based health curricula, activities, handouts, and more. For more information about KidsHealth in the Classroom, visit KidsHealth.org/classroom. KidsHealth comes from The Nemours Foundation, one of the largest nonprofit organizations devoted to children's health. For more information about KidsHealth, please visit KidsHealth.org.
About Southern Illinois University Carbondale, Department of Health Education & Recreation
Researchers from Southern Illinois University Carbondale's Department of Health Education and Recreation conduct the KidsHealth KidsHealth (http://www.kidshealth.org) KidsPoll. The research team for this project is led by Steve Brown and David A. Birch, faculty members in the Department of Health Education and Recreation. The department offers a bachelor's, master's, and doctoral degree in health education and a bachelor's and master's degree in recreation. The health education program is recognized nationally as a leader in school health education and graduate-level teaching and research. Graduates of the program are in health education leadership positions across the country. The department includes 11 health education faculty members and six recreation faculty members. For more information about SIUC, please visit www.siu.edu.
Contacts:
Ryan Biliski
(302) 651-4046
Kira Ebert
(302) 651-4115
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